My Journey to the Washington D.C. DMV

This morning I went to the DC DMV to finally get my local license. Given that I've been here since the new year, it's probably time.

I went to the “nearest” one. I work at 4th and D, and they have one at 3rd and C (right across the street) from one of the doors to my building. So I get sent to the next nearest one – 95 M street SW.

After waiting in line, I discover that yes I do have the correct paperwork. However, I am at the incorrect location. They only have 1 location that deals with foreign nationals, and that's at 3222 M street NW.

So I trek over to Georgetown in rush hour (so much for getting there early).

I stand in line, and am given my number.

I finally make it to the counter – complete the paperwork, get entered into the DC system, and surrender my VA license (which promptly gets shredded right before my eyes).

No worries though eh?

I get another number, wait in line, pay my fee and get (you guessed it) another number. I then wait in line to get my picture taken.

Once my picture is taken, I receive my new shiny DC license within 3 minutes (this guy is efficient).

Unfortunately, it no longer has “class M” on there.

So I go back to the front, wait in line, explain that I need my motorcycle endorsement as well.

They give me another number, I wait, and go to the counter.

“You have to get a learner's permit,” the troll behind the counter tells me.
“But I have one, I just surrendered it – look – my license is dated today.”
“But it's not in the system,” she/it smugly retorts.
“Right, if it was, we wouldn't be talking – so I need to get my motorcycle permit.”
“You have to take the written, get a learner's permit and then do a road test,”
WTF!

So I go back to the front, get another number, wait in line, take my road test, get a perfect score, get yet another number, wait in line, pay my $20, get yet another number, and go back to the picture guy.

I'm trying to schedule my road test now. It's a 48 minute wait on the phone, but they have an online scheduling system...

Failure

Today I had a new experience.

I failed a test..

The test was a pre-test for an instructor course I was invited to take so I could be an Vehicle Rescue - Extrication instructor for the Virginia Dept of Fire Programs.

I took the morning off work and I drove out to Leesburg from DC this morning, studied for a couple more hours to make sure I was wired tight. Then I took the test - I need 80% or greater to pass.

64%

When I got home and checked my email - this email came while I was in transit out to Loudoun...

"Chris,

We had to cancel the TTT because of lack of students. I will definitely keep you in mind for future Vehicle TTT.

Mark"

*sigh*

Why I could never work for SAIC

This was in part of the email:
So today I received an email from a recruiter from SAIC.

Please be advised, that prior to an employment offer:

[snip]

2. You will be asked to sign a Mutual Arbitration Agreement at your new employee orientation the day you start.

[snip]

Would any of the above present a problem for you as a candidate for employment with SAIC?

Wow.

Why on earth would I want to take a job with a company that requires me sacrifice my legal rights for a judge and/or jury trial as a pre-condition to work for them. While I realize that this is highly unlikely, any company that insists on a person surrendering their legals rights for the privilege of working for them can go do some thing that is anatomically impossible.

Stroke it!

So with spring finally (?) here, I've decided I need to get outside more often and do some fun non-fire department related things.

I'm going to get back into rowing. I used to do this back in college in Cambridge, when I lived in Chicago and when I first moved to the metro area in Alexandria.

The mornings killed me though - having to be at the boathouse at 0445 to unlock the doors (the toils of coaching) sucked big floppy donkey dick.

Happily, there is a boathouse only 3 miles away. They also have an evening programme that will work with my random fire/rescue schedule.

Finally, an excuse to wear lycra shorts in public again!

The fire gods mock me

Why do they mock me?

Well, a few months ago I was transferred to another crew because they were desperate for drivers. This is obvious simply because I was selected to go.

A bit of background. I do enjoy driving fire engines. It's fun, and even bullshit calls are good because I get to make loud siren noises (with the siren) and blow the airhorn.

Unfortunately, I want to spend more time in the back of the engine doing the actual firefighting.

It would seem that the station's apparatus feel the same way.

I've had a bad run of luck. Since I started driving:

- hit the bay door by driving through it when it wasn't up all the way with Wagon 11. This is DESPITE the red/green go/don't go lights beside the door.
- had a broken valve stem on a tire on Engine 11. Fire trucks with flat tires = bad.
- transmission failure on Wagon 18.

My next shift?

I'm back in the back.